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Author Archives: LenaKotler

Boy Meets Girl In The Age of Facebook

Knowing how to start a blog is difficult. Intro posts have a nasty habit of becoming trite, and let’s be honest here: when’s the last time you actually read one? Can’t we all just skip to the juicy details and witty banter that comes when you’re three months into the process already? Sadly we can’t. Especially not here. Blogs are an invitation to step into the life of another person. A little voyeuristic treat for those internet surfers with a little too much time on their hands or an in-box at work that’s overflowing but can be ignored for just five more minutes before it becomes an avalanche that the National Guard needs to be notified of.

So let’s get to the basics:

For the sake of my fiance not feeling like I’m dumping TOO much of his personal life out on the wide web for generations to come I’ll call him The Beard. Which if you know us is currently ironic, but once upon a time there was a whole story as to why he’s called The Beard. For those of you that don’t know us or our story all you need to know is once upon a time The Beard had facial hair of epic proportions, a feature he was known for and upon meeting him a group of my friends lovingly dubbed him “The Beard”

For those interested in those juicy details I mentioned The Beard and I met in what very well may be the most cliched way possible: at a bar. Back in July of 2010 His band was playing and I was there with my best friend/co-conspirator/alibi provider who just so happens to run THE coolest cupcake company in Atlanta (don’t believe me? check out The Sugar Dolls and try some of her tasty concoctions. They’re not laced with any illegal substance but they might as well be. They’re that addictive).

So here’s the rough sketch of the big Meet/Cute (film slang for when the lead lovers meet):

Me: busty red-head in a pin-up dress selling miniature banana split cupcakes to drunken hipsters armed with sparklers and talking to anyone and everyone still sober enough to hold a conversation (which, let’s face it, it was 1AM and an Atlanta bar. That really narrows it down).

The Beard: cute guy in a suit that comes across in that Rabbi/Amish BUT sexy kind of way whose just played a kick-ass show to a sold out room full of said drunken hipsters.

It being the night before the 4 of July there were of course decorations. As the night wore down I found myself  holding a twine of sparkly stars with nothing to do with them. They’d done they’re duty as sparkly hat for the evening, but now it was time to retire them with dignity. So I did what any self-respecting cupcake girl would do with such a proudly patriotic item: I plopped it on the head of the person nearest me. Who just so happened to be The Beard himself. Of course if you’re going to adorn a complete stranger with what is admittedly a very embarrassing head piece the least you can do is strike up a conversation and introduce yourself.

What followed was a mix of talk, drunken antics, and of course cupcakes. What story is complete without cupcakes? And as the house lights were thrown on and the drunken crowd was wrangled out of the space The Beard made his big move:

He asked how to find me on Facebook.

That’s right folks! Because in 2010 phone numbers are passe, and if you want to pick a girl up you go straight for the Facebook.

The moral of this story? The way to any man’s hearts is a complex combination of three very important things:

Boobs.

Cupcakes.

And Facebook.

So you say you’re getting married..

Then you mention that you’re getting married in a 120 year old cotton gin factory turned artist community/venue and you’re going to run with a Dustbowl Era Carnivale theme and while you’re at it you’re going to do 98% of the wedding on your own with a 4-digit budget. Go on. I dare you.  Say it to your friends. Say it to your family.  Hell say it strangers on the street. Just try it out and I promise you’ll get some of the funniest looks in the world and alot of people are going to do the “You’re crazy” eye roll.

I know this because 4 weeks ago I proposed to my boyfriend on our one year anniversary (yeah you read that right, I proposed to him…but you’re going to have to wait for THAT story) and since then it’s been a series of reactions running the entire gambit of possibilities. My fiance is a musician and I’ve spent my entire adult life working in the arts in just about every way you can think of. We’re lucky to have a group of incredibly creative and talented friends, and we want our wedding to be a reflection of that, while also being a celebration of our wide variety of interests and passions. It’s our combined and sometimes conflicting nerdiness that made us fall in love with one another, and so what better way to celebrate that?

I have to add that six years ago I was married. I was very young, and there are long and very boring stories that boil down to the fact that it wasn’t a wedding that I have very many fond memories of. We did our best, but looking back, I realize that I was at a point in my life where I barely knew who I was, and so our wedding ended up being generic and not an event that really expressed who I was, who my ex-husband was, or who we were as a couple. I’ve been lucky enough to have a second shot at love and a second shot at having the wedding I dream of, and for my fiance, who’s doing this for the first time, I want him to be able to skip all of the mistakes and wrong turns I experienced.

Who says there’s only one right way to have a wedding? I think I must have missed that memo somewhere, though try googling “wedding planning” and you’ll see a laundry list of whitewashed websites that will tell you exactly that. Honestly that’s fine. A wedding should be a celebration of the couple, and I know that there are folks out there who find comfort in the traditional template of a White American Wedding.  But we are far from a mainstream couple.

So hop on and join me as over the next 20 months I share with you the crazy ride of planning a wedding, recruiting friends and family to help build a literal 3-ring circus, and trying to keep it all in perspective as a vintage bride whose learning to master the DIY world.