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So you say you’re getting married..

Then you mention that you’re getting married in a 120 year old cotton gin factory turned artist community/venue and you’re going to run with a Dustbowl Era Carnivale theme and while you’re at it you’re going to do 98% of the wedding on your own with a 4-digit budget. Go on. I dare you.  Say it to your friends. Say it to your family.  Hell say it strangers on the street. Just try it out and I promise you’ll get some of the funniest looks in the world and alot of people are going to do the “You’re crazy” eye roll.

I know this because 4 weeks ago I proposed to my boyfriend on our one year anniversary (yeah you read that right, I proposed to him…but you’re going to have to wait for THAT story) and since then it’s been a series of reactions running the entire gambit of possibilities. My fiance is a musician and I’ve spent my entire adult life working in the arts in just about every way you can think of. We’re lucky to have a group of incredibly creative and talented friends, and we want our wedding to be a reflection of that, while also being a celebration of our wide variety of interests and passions. It’s our combined and sometimes conflicting nerdiness that made us fall in love with one another, and so what better way to celebrate that?

I have to add that six years ago I was married. I was very young, and there are long and very boring stories that boil down to the fact that it wasn’t a wedding that I have very many fond memories of. We did our best, but looking back, I realize that I was at a point in my life where I barely knew who I was, and so our wedding ended up being generic and not an event that really expressed who I was, who my ex-husband was, or who we were as a couple. I’ve been lucky enough to have a second shot at love and a second shot at having the wedding I dream of, and for my fiance, who’s doing this for the first time, I want him to be able to skip all of the mistakes and wrong turns I experienced.

Who says there’s only one right way to have a wedding? I think I must have missed that memo somewhere, though try googling “wedding planning” and you’ll see a laundry list of whitewashed websites that will tell you exactly that. Honestly that’s fine. A wedding should be a celebration of the couple, and I know that there are folks out there who find comfort in the traditional template of a White American Wedding.  But we are far from a mainstream couple.

So hop on and join me as over the next 20 months I share with you the crazy ride of planning a wedding, recruiting friends and family to help build a literal 3-ring circus, and trying to keep it all in perspective as a vintage bride whose learning to master the DIY world.


About Vag of Honor

Cis-femme. Sex-positive bisexual. Talking all things feminism and the world while juggling life.

3 responses »

  1. yay!!!! but no really. why on earth wasn’t Murray Mill this fun when we lived there? (altho it was super nice being totally off the grid) I should show you my pix from 1989ish. That back building had a roof!

  2. I’m so happy for you, and I can’t wait to be a part of this!

  3. Yeah. What a wonderful story. True, I know it, but always nice to read it again. Can’t wait for the big day! 🙂


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